Fuck This Court

Between watching the people versus LARRY FLYNT (the title for this is from a t-shirt he wore in court) and reading an incredibly twisted book by Mark Nyaken called 'Bone Parade' i've developed some interesting thoughts. Firstly, several days ago, i had the strangest thoughts about murdering someone for completely random reasons. That doesn't sound nearly as bad as it was, it actually startled me once i realized what i was day dreaming about and i pretty much blocked it out. Apparently, this kind of thing is normal with extended periods of meditation and the evil thoughts eventually dissipate to next to nothing. Desire is like a spark, it can cause fire that burns clean ash.
"this was the knowledge that had lain in wait all the years. It had sought me out with suddeness that was shocking, that forced me to say with a breathe i could hardly bear, 'i was this, but now i am that.' This was the knowledge that had proved most disturbing of all because it gave the lie to all that i had been, to all that i was. I saw in that searing moment that kindness and decency and even the barest sense of propriety can slip away in a blink and leave us not as we would chose, but as we have been chosen" give's me chills every time i read it.

In stark contrast, Hustler seems like beddy-time stories compared to the extensive rape details and fetishism in this book. The inertia to create such a seeming monster vibrates in all of us. You can suppress your desires and act sensibly, but does this make you any less evil at a core level? does such a quality even exist, or is it merely a product of a self-serving society? I'm not sure how much of your true character you could suppress and remain human, even if for a greater cause. Which leads to an even more interesting question, could it have been the suppression in the first place that twisted you? without taboo would it still have had the same appeal?