attraction

i move with ease but am left unseen. growing petrified (even with this blog ha, get it? stale and hard, i r funny). i don't know what it is but i seem to have had a relapse. if i throw a bottle to sea with a message, and the tides bring it back to the same spot i stood where i threw it, what of it? what truly of it?! in many ways i am still a boy here, but i can acknowledge that. I can also acknowledge the slow process of change, does it matter? i struggle with the thought. if i can see where or who i am without changing it, i accomplish nothing by seeing it. patience is not a card i play well. And my efforts fruitless, or is effort fruitless? ach! these rhetorical questions! it all comes back to the circle again.
walk through a cemetery and kick up your heels. the horrible smell of it all isn't there for those like me. We just trudge on, always moving, always sinking deeper into the ground. it's carnal desire for life and apathy breed into this world of death and life in a room. life is not in a room! who can accept life as for the many things rather than one fleeting objective? the simple notion seems crazy to me. I would like some sort of justice for all of this, please sir?
it's all hypnotism and we are all simpletons spell-bound by starry nights and snake bitten hands. how odd that in a normal world we would avoid risk like a plague but here, here in disgust we are forced to embrace it in all of it's blood-letting glory. All success needs is someone to do the opposite of all expected below heaven. as previous stated ad nausem, deception is all we have. all. embrace the raw, the wrong. natural skin beats acquired taste 10/10.