i'm so emo.
i can't seem to define a mentality. perhaps 'evil' would be most suiting. i can't decide if it's ok for me to begrudge something i did as well. Words shall be said, carpets burned, the delerious irreverent. I can't decide if it's ok to not actually care about the ok and exploit everyone as the sycophants that they are. After all, they are practically begging me too. Exploitation is all a matter of definitions and rationalization. I'm convinced that rationalization is the ultimate ying and yang-cluster fuck of society. It allows mere mortals to commit atrocities in the name of war. it allows mere mortals to commit atrocities in the name of fun. I wonder how much i can dance on that line and have society (maybe a God of sorts?) tolerate me. Odd that so many people read this shit like it was hidden smut in a dessert of catholics.
Had i been born centuries ago say in China, the more open minded and free thinking i was, the better i would've been viewed. Born in europe in the same time, or perhaps here a century ago, i'd be a heretic and cast out, forever to be without teacher or tool. Nothing changes.
it gets so hard to believe in a particular desire when everyone punctualized by it and every example of it i see is either corrupt or destroyed. How can i believe in what keeps breaking? faith? bah! i scoff at such ignorance. The only faith a man truly has is the power of his own two hands and the realization of movement and change.
So if all changes, how can one belive?
Can i merely accept that it will end and change and be undone, as part of the process in all it's beauty i suppose. Or i could do like everyone else, believe in a mud-thaw state of time where perfection is sanity riding off into the sunset with a compassionate lover.
A vent, to injustices past and present. To all the lies i tell myself, to all the lies i'm told. To all the wicked doing harm and the innocent receiving it. The eyes of the wanderer are full and accept your judgement. Judge and you shall receive me, receive us, receive the failure of your pregnancy.
Had i been born centuries ago say in China, the more open minded and free thinking i was, the better i would've been viewed. Born in europe in the same time, or perhaps here a century ago, i'd be a heretic and cast out, forever to be without teacher or tool. Nothing changes.
it gets so hard to believe in a particular desire when everyone punctualized by it and every example of it i see is either corrupt or destroyed. How can i believe in what keeps breaking? faith? bah! i scoff at such ignorance. The only faith a man truly has is the power of his own two hands and the realization of movement and change.
So if all changes, how can one belive?
Can i merely accept that it will end and change and be undone, as part of the process in all it's beauty i suppose. Or i could do like everyone else, believe in a mud-thaw state of time where perfection is sanity riding off into the sunset with a compassionate lover.
A vent, to injustices past and present. To all the lies i tell myself, to all the lies i'm told. To all the wicked doing harm and the innocent receiving it. The eyes of the wanderer are full and accept your judgement. Judge and you shall receive me, receive us, receive the failure of your pregnancy.
posted by V0b0 at 1:52 AM
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